Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize