so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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