i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
