So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
