my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
