My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
