I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
