i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
