I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
