No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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