id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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