my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
