i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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