I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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