whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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