so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
