I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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