He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
