After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize