I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
