id be glad to
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
