you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
