Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
