Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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