oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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