So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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