I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
