Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize