her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
