He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
