her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All I want is dick and wine.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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