By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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