I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
