; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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