Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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