when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize