He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
