I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
