Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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