Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
