It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He better not be in your backpack
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
