I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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