shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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