Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
