So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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