Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
