am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
