You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
