Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
