My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
