omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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