You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
