I'm lost and stupid without you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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