I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
