Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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