i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
