I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
